Valentine’s Day Ashes

This year feature’s the unusual occurrence of Valentine’s Day falling on Ash Wednesday. One church calendar features a cartoon with valentines that read, “Won’t you be my Valentine you miserable offender?” and “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Lent is beginning. No chocolate for you.” Besides a few jokes (both fun and bitter), what insight does the bringing together of this largely secular holiday (St. Valentine not withstanding) and Ash Wednesday provide? Actually, the insight is pretty sweet (get it, sweet?). Let’s first touch base on the meaning of each observance on its own merits.

Valentine’s Day is a romantic holiday. A day for candles and candies, for special date nights, thoughtful gestures and the like. It is also a day of despair for those who wish someone was in their life and a disappointments for couples who feel their relationship is not all it is supposed to be. Women may be more hopeful about Valentine’s Day, yearning for something poetic and memorable to happen. Men may dread it or see it as little more than a day that obligates them to buy roses. Romantic hope, cynicism, and sorrow are all on tap on this day annually. Some families also exchange valentines, as do some school children.

Ash Wednesday is one of the most solemn days of the entire Christian year. It marks the beginning of the season of Lent. It is a season for self-reflection, spiritual spring cleaning, repentance, fasting, and the like. It can also be a day of despair because Ash Wednesday reminds us of the difficult reality of death. Ashes are marked on the foreheads of Christians with the declaration, “You are dust and to dust you shall return.” Some Churches stress Ash Wednesday and attendance is strong and some do not with attendance being less. While the majority of Christian Churches observe Lent, there are a sizeable minority who do not.

So what happens when you bring together mortality and romantic love? You get life! (And Shakespeare…) Whether romantic love or not, one of the great joys of life – relationships – is also one of its greatest sorrows. Eventually, you and I will have to say good-bye to every person we care about. This can lead to despair if fixated upon. Relationships, of all kinds, with God and people, are what make life worth living. But people die, people move, children grow up, you take a new job, a break ups occurs, and eventually, some day you will join the great throng of humanity that has left this life for the mystery beyond.  

Where is the sweetness in this? A rose is sweet because its blossom is not eternal. Its bloom is precious because it is for a season. A rose should be enjoyed while it lasts. A rose should be tended to preserve its beauty and longevity. The rose will be a memory which if we have treasured, will be with us forever. Ok. You say, yes, treasure people, they won’t always be here, blah blah, etc. I get it. Do you? Are you? But there is something else. A rose is a gift. The people in our lives are gifts. They are not our possessions. We can trust that in some mysterious way our love for them will echo into eternity, but for now, they are temporary gifts. Cherish them.